I will not be afraid
The question I’m asking myself these days is, why do I need to be afraid at all?
If God - Yahweh- is always with me, and the Spirit is IN me, what is there to fear?
So, here’s an example from yesterday (when fear didn’t win):
My daughter really wanted to go to the store. We only had a small window of time we could go. My youngest son also wanted to come, and came down 5 minutes before time to go in an extremely wrinkled shirt - like, it looked as if he had balled it up wet and stuffed it in his shelf. I asked him to change. He came back down in a shirt almost equally wrinkled. “Did you stuff ALL your clothes into the shelf without folding them?” He grinned. Yes, he did. They were all wrinkled beyond anything I’ve ever seen.
Let me be clear, I’m not an ironer. In fact, my iron was broken for a year, and we didn't miss it. BUT, this was too far. And I felt irritated at my son. Quite irritated. But what I’m learning to do is to trace my negative feelings back to FEAR. So, I asked myself, what am I afraid of?
I’m afraid this means my son is irreversibly lazy, and I’ve failed as a mom...I’m afraid he won’t like me as much if I make him iron...I’m afraid if I don’t make him iron I’m being a bad mom...I’m afraid if I do make him iron I’m being a bad mom…
Wow. Irritation at my son was really fear related to ME.
This was suddenly manageable! I chose to not let fear plant its roots. I calmly said, “Ok, let’s go upstairs and iron all your shirts. I’ll get out the iron and ironing board and you get your shirts.”
I said it so calmly, and without shame, that he did it.
Then I had to deal with fearing my daughter’s disapproval that she had to wait for her little brother to iron all his shirts. But, I chose to not fear her. I was doing what seemed right.
You know what, he got his shirts ironed, we had plenty of time at the store, and we all had a great conversation about it on the ride there. Thank you Jesus for always being with me!
My goal is not to avoid fear. My goal is, when the fear comes, to discern, what exactly am I afraid of? Then ask myself, Why do I NOT need to be afraid of that?
I will not be afraid, for God is with me! Why do I need to be afraid at all?