Facing Insecurity: 4 Steps to Freedom!


I have wasted

too much of my precious life caring about others opinions.

I still find myself held back by my perception of what others think of me. I would love to be completely free from needing the approval & affirmation of those around me!

But, the truth is, I do care. Sometimes I care a lot. Certain people’s opinions are extra insecurity-producing for me.

And, that’s where I start. With the truth of the situation.

I feel unsure & I want certainty.

I feel like I am foolish  & want confirmation that I am not.

I feel insecure & want acceptance.

Phew. Even just being honest is helpful. It brings some clarity. I don’t have to hide what’s true about me.

And, I choose to mourn - for a moment - the fact that I am not as confident as I think I “should” be at 43 years old. I choose to be sad - for a short time- that I still long for the approval of others.

These things I want (certainty, confirmation & acceptance) are legitimate needs! I’ve just been trying to meet those needs in a way that is not very successful. Hoping others will be a successful strategy to achieve confidence is an unstable route.

I have a choice to turn it around! Who do I want to be in this moment of insecurity?  

If I want certainty and security, where can I find it? I don’t want to get it from the opinions of those around me anymore. (That gives them the power to determine who I am.) So, where can I find certainty about who I am?

In the quiet Presence of my Father as I listen to Spirit.

For me, that is where I find my identity. When I meditate on the reality of God’s Presence always in & around me, I remember:  I am wanted! I am worthy of Love!

And then I forget. Often within the hour. But, the invitation is always there. Always available. To know, see, taste, smell God’s Presence in each moment.

Today, as I find myself feeling insecure about what others might be thinking, I will ask myself this simple question:

Where is God’s Spirit in this moment?

Once I’ve connected with Spirit, I can ask a quick follow-up question:

Whose opinion of me do I want to believe right now? (mine or God’s?)

My opinion of myself is usually much lower than God’s opinion of me. My perception of what others think of me is usually full of judgement.

God’s says to me, “Kate, you are:




Approved of  






(just as I am...no good works required)

And my soul expands. And the opinion of others seems small and insignificant. Because I am already full.

In Your Presence there is fullness of joy. (Ps. 16:11)


4 Steps to Freedom:

Step 1 - Be honest about your insecurity. Name it.

Step 2 - Mourn the fact that you are needing others approval

Step 3 - Choose to turn it around. Make it a conscious decision.

Step 4 - Ask the 2 questions:

-Where is God’s Spirit in this moment? Connect with Spirit! Ask God, “Open my eyes to Presence!”

-Whose opinion of me do I want to believe right now? Recall what God thinks of you. Choose to believe God!

How sweet to live confidently free of others opinions…you are free indeed! (John 8:36)

And don’t be too discouraged if you have to repeat the steps again tomorrow.

Kate HagenComment