Grieving Well

Helping someone grieve well is a true honor for me. One I don’t take lightly.

But I still grasp for words when I’m asked for grief counseling. It’s so raw, confusing, horrible and beautiful. I never want to rush someone through that.


For me, it was so important, and ultimately so healing, to really feel ALL my feelings when Mom died. I had to name them: grief, numbness, denial, anger, hurt, apathy, nostalgia. And let them BE. Not try to chase them away, thinking they were bad thoughts that God (or my Mom) wouldn’t like.

Each feeling was important and needed to be allowed (even though it was SO painful). Not to dwell on the emotions, but to hear and acknowledge them, so they could pass through.

Otherwise the feelings get stuck…then they come out sideways.

I surprised myself with how deeply hard Mom’s death was for me. I “shouldn’t” be SO sad…she was ready, she had a beautiful last day on earth, she knew she was headed to God, she wouldn’t want me to be sad, my siblings and Dad didn’t seem to be taking it so hard.

But, this was my unique grief journey that I needed to honor. It was kinda embarrassing sometimes. I felt like I should be stronger, more mature, more trusting of God.

If you are grieving right now, welcome. Welcome to a confusing, horrible, beautiful journey that can take you to depths you didn’t know existed.

Even if you don’t feel God in those places right away, spiritual things ARE happening. Let them happen. Let yourself feel. Feel until the feeling passes. It will return, but it will return slightly different. A new layer will emerge, ready to be felt and healed.

Reach out if you need an empathetic ear. It’s truly an honor for me to join the grieving journey with you.

Kate HagenComment